I am a TODDLER, hear me ROAR!

My daughter and I have become somewhat acquainted with a park that isn't too far from my moms house. It is stroller friendly so when we go, always with my mom, we walk the path for a bit. As we walk we witness people playing tennis (which I so badly want to learn how to play), my daughter says "hiiiii" (in the sweetest voice one could produce) to every dog or child that we pass. Sometimes we partake in conversation with my mother and sometimes we just walk. We work our way to the playground where there is often a variety of other children and parents milling about. Doing the usual "hi, how old is your kid" and "I take my child to such and such and we do such and such" talk.

One of the first times we were there, this little boy not much older than my little person, walked right up to her and smacked her in the face. I waited until she cried, and the boys mother did nothing before I walked over. Of course she was fine. I think her feelings were hurt more than anything. I bent down, looked at the boy and then looked at my sweets and told her to tell him "no". She did, but not until we walked away.

A few minutes of play in another part of the playground and the little boy was back. He walked right up to her while she was among other children, and stole the binky right out of her mouth (yes she still has a binky, don't judge). Again I waited. The mother did nothing and my sweets started crying. I walked over, bent down, and told her to point at the boy and say "no, mine!". She did, when we walked away.

All the while the boys mother watched and said nothing.

Some time went by before we returned to the playground (mostly due to the circus I like to call military living). We returned this weekend and to no surprise there were many other kids at the park, many who were close to the age of mine. All the kids played side by side and chatted in their little person chatter with no problems. Out of the corner of my eye I see a woman walking up pushing a stroller. Out pops this little guy who starts heading directly for sweets (I have been trying to give her a little space while she plays). Under my breath I say "is that the same little boy from last time?" Right as that is slowly and quietly coming out of my mouth the boy grabs sweets arms and obviously squeezes. I slowly start walking over as she bursts into tears. The boys mother looks at me and says "he was trying to hug her" (oh please lady, your child squeezed her arms not attempted a hug, what the crap is a hug in your house, sheesh). Again, I bent down, looked at sweets and told her to tell the boy "no".

Of course she did, when we walked away.

I try to be as calm and realistic as I can when it comes to sweets but I have such mixed feelings of such encounters. First I want to man hate and blame it all on the men of the world. I think things like I wonder why the boys mother wasn't teaching her son proper behavior, especially toward girls (But Melissa, he was only trying to hug her. Oh right just like when the abusive husband only punches you because he loves you)? And, why do you let your child hit others without teaching them proper behavior, is it because you don't stand up for yourself? Or is it because that is the mans role in your house? Crazy right?

I wonder do we start molding them before the age of two on how to treat others? Was this boy targeting sweets because he has been molded somehow already? (Yep, I'm man hating and stereotyping, and whatever else you want to call it). I want to empower my sweets to tell people "no" when she feels necessary! I want her to stand up for herself and for what is right. Do I start that now? Right in front of bullies moms when they stand with a blank stare, or excuse the behavior because "he really meant to be nice"? Ummmm, yes, yes I do!

My next reaction is purely the mother reaction or womanly instinct. Its simple, it goes like this. Is it too early to teach her to defend herself and hit em' back?

Finally, there is the not wanting to be "that" mom reaction. It goes as follows. The boy continually hits sweets, and I need to use it as an opportunity to teach her to stand up for herself, and its totally normal little person behavior, but WE'RE LEAVING! Stupid kid, comes in here and picks on people smaller than him! What a mean, aggressive little boy! Ooooo, that mom is in soooo much trouble if she doesn't get a grip on THAT kid right now! He is so cute, but oh so mean, I see a future bully! Every time we are here he picks on her, first he smacks her face, then steals her binky, now squeezes her arm. I cant believe the mom just stood there and said nothing. I wasn't expecting an apology but at least use it as a chance to teach your little bully hitting is not ok!

 OK Melissa, stop, breathe.......