Temper Tantrums

My daughter has just started getting really good at throwing temper tantrums. She throws herself on the floor, tears in her eyes, screaming uncontrollably at the top of her lungs, to show me and everyone else how truly unhappy she is at a decision I have made for her. They have made me laugh, annoyed me, and even embarrassed me. I used to think children threw temper tantrums because they lacked the words to be able to express themselves. I know now that she has absolutely no problem expressing herself with or without her words. She makes it very clear when she is filled with joy, and has no problem making it well known when she is unhappy.

Then there is the teenager. I know teenagers get frustrated and stomp around, throwing themselves on their beds in disgust at anything and everything. Lets face it, they are mad at the world. They yell and scream at adults who ask them to do the simplest of things like clean their rooms or do the dishes. Recently I whispered to a teenager to please take out the trash, she stomped off crying and if looks could kill I would have dropped dead. When confronted by me as to why she was throwing a teenager temper tantrum she screamed "I am not throwing a temper tantrum but everyone is yelling at me". Huh? Yelling? I whispered, but now I am yelling!

I would be lying if I said I never threw a temper tantrum, even as an adult. My husband is often the witness to them, but recently my mother has been too. My temper tantrums don't consist of throwing myself on the floor, or bed. However, they almost always include yelling and are often followed by tears. I must also admit that I have been known to slam doors, stomp out of rooms cussing like a sailor, and probably have thrown things although I can't remember a time when I threw something at another human.

And then there are my elders. One would think that by a certain age we would stop throwing ourselves about when things don't go our way. Well a man in the grocery store proved me wrong on this one. He threw a rather intense temper tantrum while standing in the express line. It left me shaking and upset for many minutes after. I had two items over the express line amount of fifteen. This made him very unhappy and he had no problem letting me know. He hooped and hollered and called me some rather unpleasant names. Some of which made me laugh rather hysterically later, but when he brought my innocent child and my fluffy self into it, I lost it. I directed anger and hate towards him rather than ignoring his temper tantrum like I ignore most temper tantrums thrown by children. Leaving the store I am sure bystanders who only saw my reaction would assume I was the child throwing the tantrum.

This all leads me to wonder if we ever really stop throwing temper tantrums? We walk away from our children when they throw themselves on the floor with the idea we are teaching them that their tantrums are getting them nowhere, and especially are not getting them what they want. But does that teach us anything but to simply throw more sophisticated temper tantrums?